How to Make A Relationship Last Longer?

It is tiring to get into new relationships after every few years. Every relationship demands lot of work and understanding. It needs lot of adjustments. Relationships cannot be easily established, but they get broken easily. The results are disastrous for both the partners. How to have longer lasting relationships? That question needs to be addressed and answers found. Let us think about that.
To have a relationship that works, one has to work. Most of us take a relationship for granted once we reach a certain level of intimacy. We assume that we are regular partners. We forget to work on the rough edges and that dooms the relationship to your surprise.
There may be many differences between both of you. Your value systems may be different. Your political beliefs may be different. Your ideas about the future may be different. She/he might be looking forward to a childfree marriage whereas you might be planning for a home full of children. Your financial planning may be different. One may believe in saving while other overspends. Will the joint account work?
Sometimes, the woman may be earning more than the man and the man may have to work on the male ego to happily go along. It is true with women. She may like to boss around but her partner may be more dominating. She will have to work on both.
Every relationship is meeting of two individuals who have to love each other, accept each other and learns to live happily with each other. That requires work. Find out how you are different compared to your partner. Now find out if there is any way these differences may hurt the relationship. If yes, try to smoothen them.
Similarly keep alert about the values of your partner. Do not ignore them. Once you realize that there is a big gap between values, it is better to sit down and talk. If after that you find that the gap is wide, decide to break-up. It is important that relationship be broken rather than continued with huge differences. But if you know that your relationship can survive long, work on that.

Do You Express Gratefulness In Your Relationship?

A relationship demands sacrifices. Both the partners sacrifice to make the relationship work. Recently I was with a couple and I was listening to the sacrifices the wife had made. She said- I used to paint when I was young. I was a dancer. I loved hiking. I loved outdoor sports. But now I am so overwhelmed with kids and home that I have no time for myself. I did not ask the husband but I am sure that he has also given up many things to make the relationship work. The question is do either of them feel grateful to the other for the sacrifices? I think that many times we forget that. Let us explore this more.
Many relationships destroy person’s desires. Women are anyway expected to give up more to look after family. If her husband is callous about her desires she feels very bad. That may begin a break-up. Though men may not give up as much as women they also give up lot of freedom. Acknowledgment of this is very important. I may have sacrificed a lot, but should it also go unnoticed? I will certainly feel used after that.
If the partner understands, he/she will find ways to help other realize the dreams and fulfill desires. If the partner is self-centered, this will not happen. But the partner can at least feel grateful about what is sacrificed. They may say a thank you for that whenever the occasion demands. They should try to find some way so that the unfulfilled dreams of their partner may get fulfilled. Only then the relationship will thrive.
Find out about your partners hobbies before they got into the relationship. Find out how much they miss that. If possible try something to help them go back to the hobby. If that is not possible acknowledge that sacrifice and be grateful to your partner.

Live By Values For A Long Lasting Relationship

Most of us live by values. Our relationship is also based on shared values that are dear to both the partners. What are the values you live by? They may be- Honesty, speaking truth, helping others, understanding others, caring for others, being compassionate and such other values that you may be sharing with your partner. Do you live by these values in your work life? Many of us compromise our values in our work life to achieve quick results and money. When it comes to living by the values in work, we do not think about scarifying the values to reach targets and achieve quick growth. are you also doing the same? How many of us do not lie? How many of us behave carelessly towards others/ how many of us cheat others for small gains? We are ready to sacrifice most of our values to reach our material goals. We justify all our actions. But this gives us dissatisfaction. we are not happy because we do not feel accomplished by getting success in this way. This dissatisfaction affects our relationship. Slowly we also begin to compromise on our values with our partner. In love, we say- I will care for you. In love we promise total faithfulness. In love, we promise that we will sacrifice our comfort to make our beloved comfortable. In love we promise many things including never hurting our darling. When it comes to living by these values, we break most of them. We bring down our love to a give and take and justify our wrong actions with every possible argument. As that becomes apparent to our partner, they object to that and friction begins. This friction may lead to break- up. The essential factor is to live by values in all areas of our life. Once we do that we get happiness and confidence. Our relationship thrives because of that.