Do You Have Trouble Hanging Onto Relationships?

I've known people who are very smart, sometimes very kind, they are not drunks or addicts, they are funny, good looking, sometimes even wealthy, and yet somehow they have great difficulty hanging onto a relationship longer than a year. They don't know why, but their loved ones keep leaving them. It hurts particularly when the person they are dating just quits talking to them. You have to understand that people won't choose to be with you because you have great qualities, or because you are right and can win arguments with them. They will choose to be with you because they feel good to be around you, just as you should feel good to be around them. A relationship where both parties feel better to be around each other are the ones that bring joy to both parties and last. You must first be certain you choose to date only those persons who will treat you well. Often people who do not treat others well will be very charming in the beginning. This can mislead, so to recognize a person who will treat you poorly one day, look for how they treat others now. What is their general attitude of other people? How did they treat their previous partner? How do they treat their mother, the waitress, their boss? Because if they are treating others poorly, sooner or later that is how they will treat you. Avoid all people who do not treat others well and speak well of most people. To improve your relationships you should also carefully examine how you are treating your girlfriends or boyfriends. Treating someone well is about more than doing nice things for them. If you are having trouble maintaining relationships, then you would to well to consider if you are listening to what your partner is saying they need in your relationship. Many people discount what their partner is telling them and ignore the warning. But if the partner is not happy they will eventually leave and no amount of arguing or persuasion or gifts will get them to stay. All your dealings with them must be completely honest. You must avoid saying things that might make them feel badly about themselves. If you said something that hurt them, being forgiven does not mean that statement or hurtful action is erased and forgotten. They must feel good to want to be around you. They must feel they can trust you, that you will respect them, listen to their needs, and care about helping them to be happy.

Do You Understand Your Partner?

Do You Understand your partner? This looks a little different kind of question, isn't it? Because all of us think that we understand our partner. Is that true for all of us? What is the truth?
What all do we need to know about a person to feel that we understand them? Let us list out. Food habits, clothing choice, hobbies, emotional response, values, ambitions, behavior, mental strength, IQ, EQ and others. How much do you know about behavior response of your partner? Let us not talk about everyday behavior but how do they behave during extraordinary circumstances. For example, if a burger enters the house at night, what will be your partner's reaction? They will feel frightened? They will go and confront the burglar? They will try to catch the burglar or they will try to kill?
We can raise many such questions and try and think if we know the answer. Suppose your partner is dressed in their best clothes and is attending a party. Somebody spills a liquid on his or her clothes by mistake. How do you think they will react? Can you answer this? Think of different situations and answer them to know if you really understand your partner.
Knowing about likes and dislikes does not mean understanding. To understand means to know the values, the life goals and the priorities of a person. To understand means to know what incidences made what impacts on that person. To understand means - you will be able to predict the reaction of your partner at a crucial moment. Can you do that with surety?
In the beginning of our relationship, we all talk about good things of life. Our focus is more to please our partner. Our focus is to get more pleasure in their company. we never think about the underlying psychological behavior at that time. After the relationship develop little further, we find that many times we get baffled by what our partner does and vice-versa. Better understand leads to stronger relationship.

Can Honesty Hurt A Relationship?

Does honesty help a relationship or it hurts a relationship? This question bothers many of us when it comes to revealing something serious. Shall I tell him/her about the last night? What if things go wrong? How to tell? What if I do not tell but he/she comes to know about it? So many questions hammer us when we want to hide truth. And revealing truth may be equally serious in our opinion. So what should be done?
If we are not totally honest and open with our beloved, that means we are not sure about our relationship. That means that we do not have confidence in each other. That means that the relationship is fragile. Why worry about a relationship, which is fragile. Such a relationship will break for some or other reason.
A strong relationship can take any storm. In a strong relationship, we are ready for some disagreement but know that ultimately things will be same as be fore. In a strong relationship we are totally open with each other. We tell everything to our partner and are sure that no break-up will occur. Such relationship gives joy.
If you hide something from your partner you will always suffer from the guilt and worry about hat if he/she gets to know about that. That is not a happy relationship. Such relationships cause stress, rather than giving any pleasure. To get pleasure, have confidence, tell your partner everything about your past, and expect that they will not only understand but also comfort you about that. That is the sign of a open and strong relationship. There is another way out. Draw boundaries and agree about them with each other. I may do some thing in this area but you have no right to know about that. If such an agreement is drawn and agreed upon by the partners many problems get solved. But this kind of relationship is not close. Have your choice about what you want to do.

Fire Up Your Relationship

Most relationships go through a very bad curve that makes the whole thing pretty boring and uninteresting. Such relationships remain only in word. What can you do to bring the old passion back? Let us find out.
1. Small things make a huge problem. The small differences and careless nesses add up to create a whole big issue that kills relationship.
2. have you ever thought of going on honeymoon again? One of my friends did that and found that her relationship changed totally.
3. Have you stopped paying attention to needs of your partner? Remember that early during the courtship you were very careful. Why the change now? We treat relationships like new and old cars. New cars are given all possible care and used cars are forgotten. Change your attitude and you will find your relationship changing.
4. A small wrinkle was not allowed when you put on clothes during your early meetings. You looked for the best clothes, best perfumes, hair care and everything to make yourself presentable. Compare with the present. If you write down about the differences you will realize the kind of carelessness that creeps in after some years. Amending that will surely help - what do you say?
5. All the courtesies and appreciation is the first casualty. Earlier what looked lovely need not be mentioned again. Earlier you used to look for smallest opportunity to compliment your partner. Now you can ignore them even if they are looking their best. How we change with time!
Most of us allow small errors to creep in our behavior over a period of time. That finishes the relationship. Some relationships get finished for good. If you want to ignite the passion and attraction in your relationship, it is time to act. Revive tour relationship now.